I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
