Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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