A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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