Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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