Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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