why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
