Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
