I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
