GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
