Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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