508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
