Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
