we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
