it's like iHOP with fire
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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