ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
