We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
