In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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