in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Terrible idea I love it
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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