She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
