We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
nutella sex= disaster
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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