just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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