She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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