So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
