im gay
i know
yea but for you.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
50% drunk capacity currently
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
