she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
