I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
