Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
