you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
