Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
