I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
