He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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