Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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