K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
