To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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