I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
