I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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