That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize