does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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