I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
