I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
