problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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