JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
