HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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