Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
