Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize