Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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