We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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