He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
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