Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
