why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
