So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
