last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
