i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
