It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
