Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
