I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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