Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
