she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize