You can't motorboat a personality
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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