nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
