i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
we should paint friendship bongs
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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