He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
