"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
only you would photoshop your dick
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
