The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
